There are two kinds of men in the world, those who make their sexual fantasies happen in real time and those who don’t. Here’s the blunt truth about most men and our sex lives. Most of us are just too lazy or timid to make what happens in our imagination come to life. We let the easy proliferation of sex in the media stir our libidos – but usually only as long as it takes the deed to get done, quick and efficiently by our own hand.
Guys, this ain’t living, this ain’t living.
Oh sure, we have plenty of sexual fantasies (at least those of us who are still alive and kicking do) but most of us leave them as just that, never realizing that the wild and crazy thoughts that entertain us to “all too brief” bliss can also be used to create a more interesting and hot sex life right here in three-d reality.
But here’s the rub:
1. We have to take responsibility to make our fantasies happen.
2. We have to recognize the fantasies that can really play out in real time vs. those best left in our heads.
3. We have to be clear with our lover about “what’s in it for her”. What are her sexual fantasies?
4. We have to be flexible enough to recognize that once they start to be played out in real time they take on a life of their own – and that’s okay.
Making Fantasies Happen
In the fantasy movies that play in our head the only thing we’re responsible for is being there and being ready. Unfortunately this isn’t true in real life – at least most of the time. The sooner you make peace with the fact that you have to be the instigator of making your fantasies come to life the sooner they will.
Once, however, you accept that this is a project you want to make happen the R&D can be a riot. You’ll begin to see a whole new world of erotic possibilities right in front of you in day to day life that you never considered before. Desks, elevators, day hikes, romantic dinners, your lover’s trip to the lady’s room…all of them are seen in the new light of matching the sets where action takes place in your head.
Be willing to have the majority of the fantasy worked out before presenting the idea to you lover. And once you do present the idea to your lover give her time to get use to the idea. No one likes to be expected to play out another’s fantasy at the drop of the hat – and no one likes the heavy weight of expectation. This isn’t something she’s doing for you to rock your world – this is something you’re going to do together to have a rollicking good time.
Presenting the idea of playing out a fantasy can be tricky so the more you let her know that it’s the idea of doing this with her that turns you on, rather than just doing it at all, the better off you’ll be. Contemplating your fantasy and how to make it happen with your lover is also a great way to engage our largest sex organ – the brain. Just the conversations the two of you will have over the logistics will probably put you in the mood for sex.
Some Fantasies Aren’t For Reality
A friend of mine was once asked to play the dominatrix role for her lover, however, he was very clear that if she wasn’t going to “do it right” he didn’t want it to happen at all. The problem is that at the time she was very naïve about the whole BDSM world and didn’t have a clue about what being a dominatrix involved except that it would be a pretty sexy outfit. He wasn’t willing to fill her in. He wanted his fantasy handed to him on a silver platter without even clear explanations of what it entailed.
If your fantasy is full of rules and regulations that you’ve culled from literature, porn and your own imagination, and then developed and fine tuned over the years, you can’t expect your lover to jump enthusiastically into this world without some serious prep time. Even if your fantasy is pretty basic BDSM you can’t assume she knows and understands (and is interested in) that world unless you’ve already discussed it openly.
Other fantasies just aren’t physically feasible at all, and some aren’t because they haven’t taken a woman’s comfort into consideration. Before asking a lover to partake of your fantasy to screw her on the hood of your new Mustang convertible you might want to consider the temperature the hood of the car will be at the time.
Just What Does She Get Out of It?
Yes, your fantasy is your fantasy but that doesn’t mean you can be a selfish idiot about the whole thing. You’ve got to make sure your lover’s going to have a good time too. Almost any woman can surprise you with her kinky side – as long as she knows you’re going to totally appreciate and reciprocate her efforts. Be smart and start slow as the two of you work up your nerve and bravado. And play fair. Either make sure to incorporate her pleasure into the “act” or be willing to trade off fantasy for fantasy. If she’s willing to go down on you in an alley outside of your favorite club than you’d better be willing to do whatever the heck it is she wants (as long as it doesn’t harm either one of you).
Once a sexual fantasy moves to become a reality it will no longer match what played in your head frame per frame. It shouldn’t matter because the goal is to have an experience that’s so amazingly hot you can’t believe it’s your life. Also, shit happens and you’ve got to take it in stride with humor. If you get caught up in everything being “perfect” you’re going to miss out on the moment, the excitement, and the bonding with you lover.
By Grant Day.
Whether your a male, female, ts or neither express your
deep sexual fantasy
Putting your fantasy into words can sometimes help to understand and explore:
comments: I am one of the authors of this web site. I have quite a few fantasies but I will share one that I love to explore. One of my fantasies is being seduced by an innocent but dominant looking woman. Being subject to her sexual desires and fantasies while making sure that my pleasures are teased and denied for her enjoyment. I love when a woman can use her imagination to get into my head, explore areas never explored before and open desires I never thought were there. All of our fantasies, pleasures, and desires come from one place. Our mind. My fantasy is for my woman to get into my mind, break through the barrier and make me her property, her slave, hers... Seduce and destroy me to be at her feet for as long as she feels. As you know this site is about the art and sensation of teasing and denial. I find that so many men and women want to be teased and then given release at the end of the session. My fantasy involves intense tease and denial to a point where I feel my place is at the feet of the owner of my pleasures. To tease and torment to an extent that's beyond comprehension. When you play with yourself you most always know the outcome. Release. I love not knowing the outcome and giving that power to my woman. Going deep into aspect of orgasm control, giving it all and going where i have never gone before. I love it.
comments: I don't expect this to ever happen but writing it down is it's own reward.
In my fantasy I haven’t been allowed to cum for about a week. I am then stripped naked and a rope tied around my balls giving you complete control. One tug and my already tender balls cause intense pain. You lead me into a room occupied by several women. You present me before them one by one. Each asks me questions. I am forced to answer there questions with a quick tug on my leash The pain in my balls makes me go to the ground but I am forced to stand and answer. One feels my swollen balls and ask when they were emptied last. I am forced to tell her a week. They ask about my sex life. When I masturbate and how much. They laugh at my answers, humiliating me into telling them my personal fantasies. They feel and play with me making my cock hard and my balls ache. The are amused by my discomfort as they tease me. They notice the precum dripping of my cock and ask if I have a problem. I tell them my balls hurt and I need to cum. They ask if I would enjoy using a hole. If I agreed they would allow my to cum but they would all watch. The choice was mine, if not they would bring me back in another week and ask again. She is fondling my balls as she asks making them swell more wanting release.. As much as I don’t want them watching my balls are swollen and I need to cum so I agree.
They all start laughing as at a private joke. She pulls on the leash hard and says a deal is a deal if you try to back out I’ll hang you by your ball you understand. My balls really ache now knowing the are going to empty so I say yes. She tells me to get on my hands and knees. She pulls on them making me crawl backward by each woman. They take turns fondling my sack or playing with my dripping cock. Finally she stops me and asks if I’m ready to fuck a hole for them. My cock is hard and precum is running down onto the floor my balls are blue from the pulling and need to cum I say please yes. She smiles an evil smile and makes a circle with her thumb and forefinger Fuck the hole like a good boy, giving a warning tug on my nuts. Tricked but I have no choice and I’m horny as hell and need to get off. They laugh as I crawl over and mount her hand slipping my cock into the hole. I try not to hear them as I hump those fingers, it feel so good my hips pumping that hole wanting to blow my load. They are laughing, slapping my ass and telling me to fuck the hole like the bitch in heat that I am. I feel my balls tighten and my load start up my cock ready to blow. I’m finally going to cum the first squirt starts and she takes her hand away. I fucking air my cocks squirting stream after stream of cum onto my belly and floor. I can’t stop from humping but there isn’t anything to hump. I hear them rolling on the floor laughing at me as I cum. When I am finished she drags me out by the balls back to my room. As the door closes I hear them say they will get a lot of money for that video.
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